Analysis of "The Flea" by John Donne

I read the poems before reading the brief biography on John Donne, so when first reading “The Flea,” I felt that the flea was simply a term that the narrator used for his and his fiancé’s unborn child (“And pampered swells with one blood made of two” (8)), but after reading it multiple times over it became more clear that the poem is simply about sex, and that the flea is both a literal and figurative symbol of how nonchalant the narrator views it. His fiancé (which is inferred in “Where we almost, nay more than married are” (11) seems to think differently however, and wishes to wait until they are married before they sleep together.

            The narrator is attempting to manipulate his fiancé into having pre-marital sex by comparing intercourse to flea that has sucked blood from both of them. Saying that “this is more than we can do” (9) is he saying that the flea combining their own blood inside of itself makes them “more than married” and he puts the flea on the same level as their “marriage bed and marriage temple”. However, she kills the flea despite his protests, and he accuses her of being “Cruel and sudden” (19) as if the flea held any true significance. Yet by the last few lines he flips his argument entirely, once again comparing the flea to intercourse but this time arguing just how ultimately insignificant they both are: “’Tis true; then learn how false fears be: / Just so much honor, when thou yield’st to me, ‘ Will waste, as this flea’s death took life from thee” (25-27).

The short biography section describes the poem as “lighthearted” and I guess it could be viewed that way in that the narrator is using a flea to talk about sex, but overall I thought the poem came off as very dark, and I personally felt anger towards the narrator for manipulating his fiancé simply for sex, disregarding her feelings completely for his own selfish desires.

I can’t really think of a question so I’ll just ask: in your opinion, is a flea an apt metaphor for sex? If so, why?